Wanda J. Dilley, 79, passed away, surrounded by her loving family, on January 7, 2022.
A memorial celebration of her life will take place in early spring.

My mom was married to, Kerry Dilley, the love of her life for close to 61 years. They were childhood sweethearts, dating off and on since 8th grade. Not long after getting married, they had their first born child, Cari Linn….. then the kids kept on coming. My mom was pregnant 8 times in 10 years, one ended in miscarriage. One of the most devastating, and life defining moments was when they lost their second oldest child, Rhonda at 8 years old when she was run over by a car while crossing the street near the bowling alley in Pierre. How my mom handled this was both a gift to her family as well as an inspiration to others. She almost immediately and openly forgave the young man who caused the death of her beloved Rhonda. That doesn’t mean she didn’t struggle with this loss for many years, indeed, she was profoundly affected, missing Rhonda greatly right up until her own death. However, growing up in a household absent the hate, bitterness, and emotional distress common in these situations, was a gift of a lifetime, and positively impacted the trajectory of her children’s lives. We admired her beyond our ability to properly convey for showing us how to handle tragedy with dignity, grace, forgiveness, and love.

My mom was a very strong, independent woman, who was outspoken, highly opinionated, and well read. A great role model for any young woman wanting to make her way in the world. She cared deeply about people, especially those in need. She had a strong moral compass. Rarely veered from doing the right thing. Loved , defended, and protected her children like she was a grizzly bear bit in the butt by a bee. If her family needed her, she would have moved hell on earth to help them and, in some cases, had. As a friend, she could be counted on for anything. A more dependable friend surely could not be found. She loved her friends deeply, invested her time in them, was loyal to her very core when it came to them, which is why she had so many people who called her friend. She was the greatest listener, counselor, and advisor of all time. We always said, this should have been her career path. She listened intensely, and was full of empathy. She gave the greatest advice. It wasn’t what you always wanted to hear, but almost always what you needed to hear.

My mom was an artist. She rarely shared her work, but was an amazing writer. She could write anything from a poem to a short story. Her ability to express thoughts and feelings on paper was unbelievable, considering no one knew she had this gift. In almost everything she was incredibly creative. She could make anything, had very original ideas, and has created many, many, many beautiful things of which we are blessed to be left with. Last year, she painted a small cardboard box. She made it into an adorable little yellow house. It was painted inside and out. She never ceased to impress us with these little projects of hers where she could create something beautiful from nothing. We can’t wait it to share both her writings, her paintings, and her many other crafts with you at her Celebration of Life service; we think you too, will be amazed. My mom was an excellent interior designer, she simply didn’t have the degree for an official title. Many friends and family members benefited from her advice on how to decorate their homes. If she could have, she would have chosen to open a design business, but unfortunately for her, she couldn’t stop herself from giving her ideas away for free. Her creativity also extended into landscape design. Her yard was her pride and joy and she spent an extensive amount of time working on it each day from Spring to Fall. She beemed and bragged to every person that stopped by asking for a tour of her yard. Her ideas for her yard never ended, as my dad can attest! She had so many plants to water that last year we paid someone to come in and help water the pots outside, because just those plants took an hour each day to water properly. She was forever looking to change something to make it even better. The Garden Centers knew her well and have lost a great customer. She was extremely knowledgeable about plants and flowers. Recently, when shopping with her at a landscape center in Sioux Falls, multiple times she would overhear another customer talking about the questions they had but were waiting for help to arrive. She would strike up a conversation, offer them her solution, and when help would arrive, the “expert” advice was not different than that of my mom’s. Her yard was often openly admired by people walking by. This the fall, when selling their house, they got an offer from one such person. They asked to see the yard, then asked to see the inside of the house, and loved it so much, that despite not looking to buy, made an immediate offer. That deal fell through, but we hope the current occupant enjoys my mom’s much loved home and yard as much as my mom did.

My mom was young at heart. She loved to stay up late, only wanted to listen to the latest music, got inspiration and energy from the young, and was open to new ideas through passionate dialogue and discussion. People were always shocked about her age. I don’t think it was so much that she looked young but that she acted young. Many of her friends were decades younger than she was, always saying that it didn’t feel like she was any older at all. She took so much pride in this perception of her that she wouldn’t allow us to have a 50th Anniversary Celebration for her and my dad because she didn’t want people to know she was that old. She was fun, would dance, and loved that she didn’t “act her age.” Her favorite saying was that “normal was boring.” She definitely wasn’t boring and made sure life wasn’t boring for us either. We would shake our heads at her, but we all secretly loved it.

My mom has been a realtor since 1978, and was active through this year. If you were lucky enough to have her as your realtor, you know that she made herself an expert in everything to do with a house, but more importantly, you know how much she would do for you. If you needed your house cleaned, a builder to finish a project, a handyman to fix something, a renter to get you by, your sidewalks shoveled for a showing, or anything else, she’d do it or have it done for you. If you were even luckier, you realized, she’d make a great friend, and made her one if you could. Many special friends came through real estate. She had a special bond with the FBI agents and their families as their realtor, then as their friend. She loved them all. She missed them greatly when they would move on to their next assignment, which sadly for her, happened regularly. One FBI agent wife said that when asked what they would miss most about Pierre, they immediately said, Wanda.

My mom would go out of her way for more then just her customers. She would sacrifice almost anything for someone in need or for a friend. She’d drive you across the state to take an acquaintance of her mom, to a doctor appointment. Wait.. that was multiple people, to many doctor appointments! If she cared, she was invested, no matter what that meant. It might have been a grant that needed to be written for the reservation. It could be that she had to bring attention to the fact that the waiting room for the jail wasn’t up to standards, which meant that visitors would miss time to visit with their loved ones. It might be that she wanted the original seating under the center of the Capitol dome so that people could sit to look up and admire the the beauty of the dome. It might have meant bathroom access, an elevator, and ramp at the Veteran’s museum. If she saw something that needed to done, she would stop at nothing to accomplish it. If you were the Governor, Warden, or anyone else and she could accomplish her goal by reaching out to you…expect a call. No one intimidated her enough to deter her from a mission, when she had one.

So often when reading obituaries, you wonder what happened. Well, I’m here to tell you…. My mom got cancer. It turns out she had it for years, and we simply didn’t know. She’d been to the hospital many times for sometimes the same complaint, sometimes new complaints. All of the symptoms she was experiencing were cancer related. By October, she was in the ER, or had hospital visits at least once a week, often even more. One ER visit in Sioux Falls led to a “suspicious mass”. In the end, a November 30th Mayo appointment confirmed our worst fears, that my mom’s cancer was in multiple lymph node areas and she had multiple large tumors, one could be seen, one could not. They advised her to take time to “do the things they always wanted to do”. Her heart and Sepsis kept her from planning anything they would have wanted to do, some great trip somewhere….. Instead, a doctor in early December referred her to Hospice care. She overcame the Sepsis, because she really was a fighter, always seeming to beat the odds before….. but her cancer was a far stronger foe than she’d ever come up against than before. She spent the last month of her life in Hartford, in my home. The entire family came and stayed there so we could have one last Christmas with her, but we did even better. We let my mom truly LIVE that month! We all had one goal, which was to make it the best end of life ever. She was surrounded by love…. we laughed together, we cried together, we shared dreams, disappointments, and regrets. We provided many craft projects for her to work on, or we worked on them at the table together. We bought her slot machines to play. She literally complained about the poor service (her family) and that it took too long to “pay her out”. She took the cash (our cash), and never realized we would take it back to put in the machine again for a “payout” to again. When she was up to it, we would take her to a real casino. One night family waited around for her to get bored enough to come home, but that didn’t happen until 7:00 AM. She could have asked for anything, and we would have done made it happen. She was so full of joy that last month, she often cried, she was so grateful to us, telling us we were doing too much, but when you love someone, a good life is never too much to give them, especially when that life is ending. Unfortunately, cancer presented the final card at the beginning of January. We were by her bedside in the living room around the clock, taking shifts, managing the hourly tasks… medicine, suction, washing her, moving her, everything needed for care. She was never alone, she was always spoken to, or had a hand holding hers. She knew in every imaginable way that she was loved beyond measure, that her passing would be felt by all of us… deeply. This amazing month we had, gives us peace. We had the opportunity to do and say what should be done or said long before this time comes. We all had second chances to make sure all was right. It was a gift. A beautiful, heartbreaking gift..

She leaves behind many people who are grateful to have been part of her life and who have the difficulty of trying to figure out how to live without her, our rock…our north star….our everything: starting with her most devoted and loving servant right to the end, her husband, Kerry, her many children, Cari Linn Fossum, Dr. Shelly Ramos (Carlos), Kyle Dilley, Todd Dilley, Craig Dilley (Tessa), and René Stolsmark (JJ), her grandchildren from Shelly – Austin, Forrest, and Morgan, grandchildren from Kyle – McKenzie, grandchildren from Craig – Nathan, Shelon, and Noah, grandchildren from René – Paige and Tyler. Others who loved her, and who came long before us, sisters Patty Luecke and Diane Liebl. She was looking forward to joining her mom whom she has missed for the last 16 years and for whom she cared for on a daily basis in her final years, Velma O’Rielly, her dad, Bob O’Rielly for whom she felt a particularly closeness to growing up, brother Dean O’Rielly, and, of course, her sweetest forever-child, daughter, Rhonda. We hope the reunion in heaven is a joyous celebration, there is much to catch up on. We’d also like to recognize some special friends, Joni Hansen, Paula Hunsley, Bob Burke, and Mark Pecora who she cared deeply for.

1. Add to favourites
2. Report abuse